Christmas Party H2O Style
by Nikki Kirk
Summary: It's Christmas time, and time for the Sydney Water Police's annual party. Anyone hoping for a sedate, boring affair went to the wrong address!


Date: 25/11/2000 - 22/12/2000  
  
Category: Fluff/Detective  
  
Disclaimer: I do these just for the fun of it, and to help ease my withdrawal symptoms as Series 5 has finished here in New Zealand. I love the show and all it is, and if you want to sue me, too bad, I take no responsibility for anything. I don't earn money out of this (I wish I did), so please, be nice. The same goes for every other fanfic writer I know. Oh, and also, this is MY storyline, not theirs, so you can't swipe it without my permission.   
  
Author's Notes: Well, it's about time Jack started living, not dwelling in the past. We all know Rachel would NOT have approved, in fact, if she could come down and visit in physical form, she'd kick Jack Christey in the bum. So, my aim in this story is to show him that life is great when you look at the positive things. I sound like a hippy. Nope, that's Jacque. Long story.  
  
Author's Notes Too: Umm, okay, maybe not *totally* positive things, what's life without loose ends? Yeah, there is a loose end and the potential for this story to go further. So, if anyone wants to write a sequel to this, you have my approval! Just tell me, okay?  
  
Dedications: To Charlie B, Jacque (aka perfecting hippy), Nat (my fellow ratfan), Stacie, Sarah E, Sarah D, Hannah Banana in the shape of a spanner (not really, it just rhymes), Caroline, Ira, Sean, Allan B, Megan, Anna (who's about to go on student exchange to the US of A, best of luck!!!), Christine (the German vbg), Larissa (another German who's left already), Franci (who's about to go home to Colorado, miss you too!), Alaina, Tina, Dharshani, Taans, my awesome couzie bro Gemma (of course, and ring me damn it Couz!), Shannon, Natalie I, Penny I, Miss Robbie (yeah, so I forgot the Christmas cards this year, I feel guilty, all right?!) and anyone else I've forgotten in this too-early-in-the-morning-to-be-remembering-peoples'-names fog. Cool, spiff, dudey, awesome, brilliant, greatness, better than jandals, time for the story!  
  
Dedications Too: Umm, let's just say it's 9.28pm and my shoulders are killing me, so I'll just dedicate this to EVERYONE in ratfic and RPG. There ya go. I only did material (as in people I talk to face to face) people before, my apologies. And to the earthquake on Wednesday. What a cool one. Shake shake shake... /\/\/\/\/\ Nice... I'm too used to them.  
  
*****  
Christmas Party H2O Style  
By Nikki Kirk  
*****  
  
"You know Helen, Jack is being such a sad sack. It's Christmas! He should be kissing people under the mistletoe in the doorway, donning the red fuzzy suit, giving out little presents and cards... Not sitting up there in our bloody office pretending to work on a case which is three months old. What's up with him anyway?" Alex moaned loudly as she signed out of work for the day.  
"Rachel." Helen simply said.  
"Oh great... Not again!"  
"He was in love with her Alex..." Helen said impatiently.  
"Yeah, yeah, I know that, and there's nothing wrong with grieving, but it's been over a year and he's still a sulky old fart! He needs to get himself back together and have a little fun!" Alex said defensively.  
"Yeah, he has seemed kind of miserable lately..." Donna piped up while trying to get a piece of tinsel with more bulk than her to hang on the wall.  
"Well, what do you suggest we do? Corner him, tell him he's a miserable old git and make his Christmas even worse?" Helen pointed out.  
Alex shrugged and watched the tinsel fall on top of Donna for a seventh time. "Well... puh! Pfuh!" Donna spat some tinsel out of her mouth before continuing, "You know how we're meant to be having a staff function?"  
"Yeah..." Helen and Alex exchanged looks.  
"Well, why don't we make it like a surprise party for Jack or something... Maybe..." Donna muttered grabbing a gun stapler.  
A grin spread over Alex and Helen's faces just as Mick walked down the stairs. "What?" He chuckled as the three women turned to look at him with grins still on their faces.   
"Say, Mick," Helen put an arm around Mick's shoulders as he got to the bottom of the stairs, "what are you doing for Christmas? You've got quite a nice large apartment with a big deck haven't you?"   
"Eh?" Mick laughed nervously, he could see where this was going, and Alex was already on the phone to someone.  
"Well, free beer, free food, a few hours for a Christmas party..." Helen pointed out, slipping him a ten buck note.  
"Oh no, no. Not my place, it's... it's too small!" Mick tried to make up excuses.  
"Michael Reilly, 10 York Grove, Edgecliff... 3 bedroom apartment, 2000 square feet..." Alex had got onto the council already to prove a point, saying she was interested in buying his place.  
"Eh? Oh, no fair! Alex, that's cheating!" Mick protested.  
"So?"  
"Oh you lot..."   
"Go on Mick! What more could you want? Come on, you're a good sort of bloke, so we'll let you in on a little secret... No telling or we'll take you out on the Nemmie and throw you in Middle Harbour... We want to cheer Jack up, so we're going to make it kind of a surprise party for him." Helen grinned, eyes twinkling - she loved a good conspiracy, it made life interesting!  
"Really? Oh, you're pulling my arm off... Yeah, okay, okay!" Mick gave in as Helen got him in a headlock and Alex gave him a good nougie.   
"Good, right, that's sorted!" Helen freed the struggling Detective and gave him a pat on the back as he walked slowly up the stairs trying to get his hair back in order.  
"Good look!" Alex called after him.  
  
"What you up to there Mick?" Jack wandered on over to Mick's desk to see what he was up to on MS Publisher.  
"Uh, doing up invites to the staff party." Mick was very thankful he'd already done the rest of the station's invites and posted them so Jack wouldn't know a thing about it being HIS party.  
"Right... Your house I see. How'd that come about eh? Helen been nagging you?" Jack chuckled.  
"Yeah, something like that."  
"Yeah, very Helen. So, when do I get mine?" Jack asked.  
"When I photocopy them."  
"Yeah? You want me to do it?"  
"Nah, it's okay Jack. Say, you've got paperwork to do don't you?"  
"Yeah, reminds me, gotta take some paperwork down to Donna." Jack grabbed a bundle of papers and wandered downstairs.  
"Mick! How's it going?" Helen appeared from nowhere.  
"Good, done! This one's Jack's, now we should probably photocopy a few and scatter them around the station, on the boards, in the meal room above the sink, give him one..."   
"Yeah, good idea Mick, I'll go do that now. This it?" Helen grabbed a piece of paper out of the Laserjet.   
"Yep, that's the one. No typos?"  
"What do I look like? The Editor? No, no typos." Helen teased walking out of the office as Jack came back up.  
"What did she want?" Jack looked at Helen bending over the photocopier before sitting down at his desk.  
"To check that I'd done up the invitations. As if I didn't have enough to do already..."   
"So when is it?"  
"What?"  
"The party?"  
"Oh, the party, it's December the 22nd... A week today."  
"What time?"  
"Can't you wait for your invite?"  
"Noooo...."  
"Oh fine, it starts at 6pm."  
"Good! That's all I wanted to know."  
  
*****A Week Later - Friday December 22 2000, 10.15am, Sydney Water Police HQ*****  
  
"You ready for tonight?" Alex asked the Mick and Jack, scribbling down a few details from COPS.  
"Yeah, yeah, I think so, got ten crates of beer, a dozen bottles of Montana wine..."  
"What, the red stuff? That's meant to be really nice, won some awards that did..." Alex looked at Mick wondering when he'd developed a taste for nice wine, "How'd you afford it?"  
"Robbed a bank."  
"What? Early pension? Cops retirement scheme? Only way you can get decent pay out of them, fraud or some equally delightful method..."  
"Something like that... Nah, everyone forked out $20 each for alcohol, food and rent..."  
"What, we're paying your rent now? You live in 2000 square feet with no one else there but your cat!" Alex pointed out scathingly.  
"Yep, well, I've got to recoup the losses somehow, don't I? Free alcohol and rent sounds perfect!"  
"Compensation for emotional trauma eh?" Jack chuckled, scratching his head with a pen and leaning back in his chair.  
"Anyway Alex, how come you bothered looking up the size of my apartment? You planning to move in or something?"  
"Pff, yeah right. I was proving a point, dear Micky, proving a point." Alex said in an English accent, drawing something in the air with the nib of her pen.  
"Right, now this is all very interesting but you are here to *work*, you know what *work* is do you?" Helen appeared from the corridor, obviously having been listening for a while.  
"Reilly, you have a cat?" Helen looked at Mick, loitering by his desk before continuing her work, "Would've thought you'd be more of a dog person than a cat person..."   
"Nah, can't be bothered taking a dog walkies, I run around after these two enough anyway." Mick grinned.  
"And what is this cat's name? Lazy? Fatty? Alch-ie?" Alex piped up.  
"Bridgette actually..."  
"Bridgette?"  
"Yeah, named her after the Harbour Bridge." They all turned to look at Mick like he was bonkers.  
"Well someone takes their job overly seriously..." Jack said it all.  
  
*****  
  
"Alex, what are you doing after work?" Mick asked later that arvo.  
"Umm, nothing yet, why?" Alex was wondering if she'd have to bail herself out of a romantic something-or-other by inviting someone else along...  
"I was wonderin', since I'm the only one living in my apartment, and Bridgette isn't exactly much help, if you would mind coming over and helping me set up?"   
"I will if ya want Mick?" Jack suggested.  
"Ah, nah, don't you have to get changed Jack? I mean..." Alex waved her hand at the suit.  
"What? You saying I'm inappropriately dressed?" Jack teased her, half serious.  
"No! No, I'm just saying you might be uncomfortable in a suit!"  
"Okay, Alex, I wear this thing day in, day out... Not the *same* one, you know what I mean!" Jack quickly rephrased what he was saying, "I wear a suit most of the time, so why would I be uncomfortable, eh? Come on, what's the real reason?"   
"Fine... I confess..." Mick began to bail themselves out.  
"Yeah, you confess to what?" Jack sat up and tapped a pen on his desk.  
"Give me a minute, eh Jack?"   
"You've got all the time in the world, Michael, go on! Don't let *me* stop you!"  
"As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted, the only presents I have wrapped up is for Alex, so therefore it's safe for *her* to come over, but not you!" Mick reasoned.  
Jack seemed to buy it. "Okay, yeah, I'll believe that. I've got more *important* things to do anyway." Jack grinned.  
"Yeah? Like what?" Alex could see the twinkle in his eye.  
"Like take my socks down to the drycleaners." Jack chuckled, getting up.  
"Oh haha, you're soooo funny Mr Christey!" Alex laughed.  
"Well you certainly seem to think so! Either of you want coffee?" Jack leaned on the doorway.  
"Nah thanks." Alex shook her head.  
"Nah, I'm okay thanks Jack."  
"Good to hear Mick, good to hear!" Jack carried on down the hallway, making way for Helen as she went to see Jeff.  
"Phew, that was too close for my liking!" Alex ran a hand over her hair.  
"Yeah, was a bit!" Mick agreed, shaking his head and letting out the breath he was unaware he was holding.  
"You're a good liar Reilly! Very good!"  
"Yeah?"  
"Yeah! Should we worry about you?" Alex teased.  
"Nah, I'm a big police Detective! Honest as the days are long!" Mick grinned.  
"Yeah, that's what I was afraid of..." Alex chuckled.  
  
*****4.55pm, Michael Reilly's Residence*****  
  
"Very tidy place you have here Michael!" Alex went through Mick's modern apartment examining the content thoroughly.  
"Thanks, I try my best..."  
"In fact, this place is *so* tidy, I think you may have a slight problem..."  
"Yeah? What would that be Alex?"  
"You might be an obsessively tidy person."  
"Yeah, right." To prove his point, Reilly opened a kitchen door and releasing a tidal wave of saucepans to fall on the floor and make one heck of a racket.   
"Aha! Saw me coming. You planned all this did you? Invite me over, try to seduce me with your tidiness when we were alone?" Alex laughed, helping Mick tidy up the mess.  
"Something like that..." Mick reached up onto the bench and grabbed a piece of mistletoe out of a floral arrangement he'd bought at lunch time, then held it over his head.  
"Mistletoe? What, you expecting a kiss?" Alex grinned.   
Damn she was good, maybe even psychic, why did she know something like this would happen? Aha, woman's intuition? No, just Mick. He'd been *trying* to get her to go out with him for months. Now what was she supposed to do? Well, she had to admit he did look pretty cute there with the grin on his face... Ah, what the hell. She leaned forward and kissed him on the cheek. Then they both sat there on their knees looking at each other. Mick leaned in again... "Umm, you know Mick? I think we need more alcohol." Alex quickly broke the moment, not wishing to get involved with a work partner, especially after the horror story told to her by Helen about Jack and Rachel.  
"*More*? That pile out there not enough for you Alex? Look, Alex, I'm sorry... I..."  
"Mick, it's okay, it's fine."  
"No really, Alex..."  
"Mick, stop apologising, give me some money, and I'll go get some more booze. There is..." Alex looked at her watch as she produced her car keys from her bag, "over two hours to go, so I should be back in about half an hour, give or take, okay? And that piece of tinsel over there's falling down."   
Alex quickly took the money from Mick and walked out, closing the door behind her, stomping down the stairs to her car, cursing herself all the way and almost tripping over a blue-point Burman who decided it wanted a cuddle. "And you," Alex stroked the cat, "must be Bridgette. Tell your Dad he's a moron and I'll be back soon? Ta puss!"   
The cat mewed in reply and ran up the stairs she's just come down as Alex climbed into her car and zoomed off.   
  
*****6pm, Norton St, Leichhardt*****  
  
Alex wound up driving around Leichhardt before heading back to Mick's apartment. She'd stopped in at a liquor store and bought some KGBs, went into a supermarket and bought a few bottles of soft drink, then went for a walk in the park. She just didn't get what was going on between her and Mick. She wanted to be friends. Sure she did think he was cute... In a goofy kind of way... And he did have good dress sense... Then again so did Matt and she wasn't making eyes at him... He was a pain in the arse, and he was showing an interest in her. Not to be up herself, but that wasn't a totally rare occurrence, and she didn't fall into the arms of a drunken Gavin... She sighed deeply and with one look at her watch began heading in the direction of Mick's place. She's been over an hour, and Mick really did need more than a few pieces of tinsel to create a festive mood.   
  
She groaned as she pulled up by the kerb outside his place, and slowly dragged herself out of the car. Mick appeared on the balcony and was looking down at her. "Well, you took your time! Come see what I've done with the place!" Mick seemed to have put aside all thoughts of a relationship for the time being.  
"What, a paint job while I've been gone? You Superman or something? Mick Reilly instead of Clarke Kent?" Alex grinned, trotting up the stairs.  
"Close, one of Santa's little elves!" Mick pulled on a Santa hat as Alex climbed the last step, cat in tow.  
"You suit that role!" Alex grinned, handing him some groceries and the KGBs before picking up Bridgette and giving her a cuddle as they went inside.  
"I see you've met my room mate?" Mick grinned.  
"Yup! Say, nice tree! No, no, no Mick! You've done it all wrong, *thick* tinsel doesn't go on the tree, it goes around the doorways. Thin tinsel goes on the tree." Alex yanked off the offending pieces of tinsel and grabbed the blu-tack on the white sofa in the large blue living room.   
"Fine then! You rearrange the tree and I'll go shove the food and alcohol on the table." Mick pulled some freshly baked homemade pizzas (which smelled absolutely divine) out of the oven.  
"You can cook?"  
"It appears so."  
"There's one for the record..." Alex muttered.  
"Eh?" Mick hesitated in the doorway.  
"Nothing, nothing!" Alex replied, hiding herself away in a mass of confiscated tinsel.  
  
Mick grinned as he set the table. She was such a babe in that lovely dark grey suit, her hair up in a shark clip... And that grin... Wow. It was a shame she didn't want a relationship right now... He hadn't planned it, it had just... Well, it had just happened. After seeing what happened with Jack and Rachel he'd sworn he'd only get involved with someone with a *safe* occupation. Like an Architect or something. But no, he'd just gone and fallen for Alex, and if Rachel were still alive she'd be kicking his arse all the way to Papua New Guinea and back again. He unconsciously put all the forks, knives and spoons out in an orderly fashion, and began ferrying the food into the dining room, starting with the piping hot pizzas, then moving on to the filled croissants, bread rolls (freshly baked too), salads and dressings. Then, still on autopilot, he went out, switched on the barbecue, realised that the first carload of people had arrived and went back inside to warn Alex and get out the stuff for the barbecue.  
  
"Alex, the first few are here." Mick was handed a cup of coffee by Alex who sat down with a pile of presents she's just wrapped and labelled.  
"Okay, I wrote what was in each of the parcels on here, okay? Just write the name, I already did the from Mick bit." Alex loved wrapping up presents.  
She'd found this lot under the stairs. Why was she looking under there? Well, she was snooping of course! Mick was totally out of it and not replying to her, just walking around in a trance, and she had to find the coffee plunger somehow.   
"Oh my goodness! Thanks Alex! I owe you one!"  
"Actually, you owe me twenty." Helen got a strange sense of de ja vu as she and the boat crew walked in to find Mick and Alex up to their eyebrows with Christmas presents.  
"Hi guys! Ooh, presents!" Helen picked up a parcel and examined it closely.  
"Gidday! Who's manning the barbecue?" Gavin inquired - he hated an unmanned barbecue, an unmanned barbecue was a very tragic thing.  
"Since you offered, the job is yours!" Mick replied.  
"Yay!" Gavin rolled his eyes and wandered out to the balcony.  
The others began appearing in droves, and soon all were merrily chatting away over glasses of red wine and bottles of beer. Jack was to arrive an hour later at 6pm.  
  
*****6.10pm, Michael Reilly's Residence*****  
  
Jack pulled up in his car to find most people (if not everyone) were already there. Jack made his way up the stairs and through the hordes of people to find Mick who was in the dining room. "Gidday Jack! How are ya?" Mick offered him a beer and he accepted it gratefully.  
"Ta. Say, I thought you've got a pool?" Jack hadn't seen any evidence of one yet, apart from Donna Janevski in a bikini in the adjacent kitchen.  
"Yeah, I do. It's out the back door. More of a terrace than an apartment." Mick explained.  
"Might go and investigate!"  
"Bring your speedos Jack? You could go join the other waterbabes, pose with the bikini-clad young uniforms?" Alex had found her way to them.  
"How come you're not swimming?" Jack asked.  
"I will later, just enjoying the atmosphere for now." Alex grinned.  
Actually, she was quietly gathering up a bunch of burly uniforms to hiff him in the drink. And her camerawoman, Helen, was already doing a great job!  
"Good on ya. Say, nice lookin' food Mick! Is it plastic?" Jack teased as Alex wandered off to find Matt, her final recruit.   
The 'cheer Jack up dunking' was ten minutes away.   
  
*****6.21pm, Michael Reilly's Residence*****  
  
"Jack, you seen the pool yet?" Alex found Jack again.  
All systems were go, now she just had to get Jack down to the pool. Kind of too obvious to drag him out there kicking and screaming. "No, not yet." Jack admitted, he'd been side tracked.  
"You wanna have a look?"  
"Yeah, lead the way."   
Alex grinned. Her plan was coming off hitch free. "Hey Jack, can I use you mobile?" Gavin did his bit.  
"Why don't you use Mick's phone?"  
"Hawker's on it."  
"Aah, yeah, sure, I'm not paying for it!" Jack tossed it to him.   
There, that was the expensive, no-get-wet stuff out of the way. Matt expertly lifted his wallet without his knowing. Chlorine did nasty things to eftpos cards! Jack didn't even notice. Alex and Jack emerged into the evening sunlight to the pool area where everyone was standing around. No one was in the pool. Jack caught a whiff of trouble. "Okay, what's *really* going on here?" Jack asked suspiciously.  
Matt, Gavin, Rourke, Jeff (Alex was a sweet talker), Mick and a uniform picked Jack up, carried him to the pool's edge amongst incredible applause, and with a countdown from ten threw him in. SPLASH!!! Jack surfaced, looking a bit shocked. There was silence until Jack swam over to the edge of the pool, grabbed Alex and Mick by the legs and pulled them in with him. Roars of laughter greeted the pair as they surfaced and started an all out water fight with Jack. "Perfect." Helen said proudly as she videoed the whole crazy scene. It would be remembered for years as one of the best Sydney Water Police Christmas Parties of all time.   
  
The End!!!  
  
*****  
*****  
  
All done! There's my contribution to the Christmas cheer! Hope you enjoyed it! All feedback to me at sydneygirl2b@hotmail.com please! Thanks guys! Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! Stay safe and happy, and I hope you have a great one.  



End file.
